k: i want something
me: what?
k: rectangle cheese melted
me: ok
(i go in kitchen and cut off a couple slices from a block of cheddar cheese and melt it in the microwave)
me: here you go
k: i don’t want this
me: this is what you asked for
k: i want it on bread
me: well why didn’t you say you wanted cheese on toast?
k: i want the white rectangle cheese
me: we don’t have any white rectangle cheese. we have white shredded cheese. do you want that.
k: ok
(i get out two slices of bread and begin toasting it under the broiler. as i’m doing this i’m eating the other melted cheese on some crackers)
k: what are you eating?
me: the cheese you didn’t want on some crackers
k: i want cheese on crackers
me: (exasperated) fine
(slice more cheese and arrange on crackers. hand husband plate with cheese on toast)
k: i want them like s’mores
me: (feeling the will to live slowly draining from my body) fine
(put a second cracker on top of cheese on crackers)
me: here
k: i want it squeezed
me: you mean you want it heated?
k: i want it squeezed!
me: fine!
(i take crackers and cheese and put in microwave)
me: here!
k: i don’t want it melted!
me: you said you wanted it squeezed! how do you expect to be able to squeeze the cheese in the crackers if you don’t have it melted?!
k: i don’t want it melted! (starts crying)
me: well, you can either eat this or go without then, because i’m done trying to figure out what you want!
k: i want like this. (pointing to the cheese on toast that husband had taken a few bites of already)
h: do you want this?
k: yes
me: (head explodes)
here's my gripe... 