here's my gripe…

i’m just a barrel of laughs lately…

001.JPGi feel like i’ve been complaining too much in my blogs lately. you’ve all been great about saying it’s ok to vent and stuff, but it’s got to get annoying to read my bitching and moaning all the time. hehe. i can’t say it’s going to change anytime soon, either.

i think i mentioned a couple weeks ago that we got a letter from g’s teacher asking for a meeting to discuss his possibly having a handicap. well, it was this morning. with k still being sick, hubby went on his own. i probably should have gone with him, but with the way i’ve been feeling lately, i was a little afraid of how i would react. i can barely keep it together at the best of times, and life has been so stressful lately.

anyway, g’s teachers and the school psychologist have the same suspicions that i’ve harboured for a while: that g may be autistic. we still need to have it diagnosed, of course. we’re going to have to set up some testing.

i’m not sure how to feel right now. part of me is relieved. relieved that maybe there is finally an explanation for his unco-operativeness, something other than he just hates me. there’s also the worry of how he will be treated by the other kids at school. maybe right now things will be ok because they’re young, but if he’s going to have to go to special classes, how will he be treated by his friends? will they abandon him once they realize that he’s different? as wonderful and innocent as children are, they can also be horribly cruel. i think this is what scares me most.

i don’t know. i had thought of a lot more stuff to say before i started writing this, but it’s all just kind of petered out.