Happy birthday. I miss you.
I had thought that there would be so much more that I would want to say, but now I can’t find the words.
The past few months have been awful. I still wish it were all just a bad dream and I’d wake up and you’d still be here. I just can’t get my head around the fact that you’re gone.
I’m sorry I’m letting you down so spectacularly. I’m letting everybody down. I can’t seem to just do what I have to do and handle everything. I’m sorry. I know I’m doing everything wrong. If it were possible to just stay in room all day, every day, I would.
Today is your birthday, and I haven’t talked to Dad about it at all. I think he might have been thinking about it last week, but it’s hard to tell. I don’t talk about you with him that much. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m worried it will upset him or because I’m worried that it will upset me. I don’t want him to see me lose it.
I love you, Mom. I’m sorry I failed you.