watch out for exploding heads!

the worst insomnia is the one induced by one’s kids.

and as if the constant whinging isn’t bad enough, there is the struggle to keep from screaming “bite me!” to the next unreasonable demand made at 1:30 in the morning.

this is the hour when you find yourself asking, “why is drugging them a bad thing again?”

maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the fact that i’ve been stuck in this house for the past two weeks. i think i’m losing it. well, more so than usual.

ok, and here’s one reason why i’m losing it. just when i resign myself to being up all night; when begging, cajoling and threatening has done nothing to get my wee ones in bed, i make myself a cup of coffee and decide to do a little whining of my own. and don’t you know those little twerps are asleep! so typical.

good night!

>watch out for exploding heads!

>the worst insomnia is the one induced by one’s kids.

and as if the constant whinging isn’t bad enough, there is the struggle to keep from screaming “bite me!” to the next unreasonable demand made at 1:30 in the morning.

this is the hour when you find yourself asking, “why is drugging them a bad thing again?”

maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the fact that i’ve been stuck in this house for the past two weeks. i think i’m losing it. well, more so than usual.

ok, and here’s one reason why i’m losing it. just when i resign myself to being up all night; when begging, cajoling and threatening has done nothing to get my wee ones in bed, i make myself a cup of coffee and decide to do a little whining of my own. and don’t you know those little twerps are asleep! so typical.

good night!

hello, i’m being deliberately driven insane

k: i want something

me: what?

k: rectangle cheese melted

me: ok

(i go in kitchen and cut off a couple slices from a block of cheddar cheese and melt it in the microwave)

me: here you go

k: i don’t want this

me: this is what you asked for

k: i want it on bread

me: well why didn’t you say you wanted cheese on toast?

k: i want the white rectangle cheese

me: we don’t have any white rectangle cheese. we have white shredded cheese. do you want that.

k: ok

(i get out two slices of bread and begin toasting it under the broiler. as i’m doing this i’m eating the other melted cheese on some crackers)

k: what are you eating?

me: the cheese you didn’t want on some crackers

k: i want cheese on crackers

me: (exasperated) fine

(slice more cheese and arrange on crackers. hand husband plate with cheese on toast)

k: i want them like s’mores

me: (feeling the will to live slowly draining from my body) fine

(put a second cracker on top of cheese on crackers)

me: here

k: i want it squeezed

me: you mean you want it heated?

k: i want it squeezed!

me: fine!

(i take crackers and cheese and put in microwave)

me: here!

k: i don’t want it melted!

me: you said you wanted it squeezed! how do you expect to be able to squeeze the cheese in the crackers if you don’t have it melted?!

k: i don’t want it melted! (starts crying)

me: well, you can either eat this or go without then, because i’m done trying to figure out what you want!

k: i want like this. (pointing to the cheese on toast that husband had taken a few bites of already)

h: do you want this?

k: yes

me: (head explodes)

>hello, i’m being deliberately driven insane

>k: i want something

me: what?

k: rectangle cheese melted

me: ok

(i go in kitchen and cut off a couple slices from a block of cheddar cheese and melt it in the microwave)

me: here you go

k: i don’t want this

me: this is what you asked for

k: i want it on bread

me: well why didn’t you say you wanted cheese on toast?

k: i want the white rectangle cheese

me: we don’t have any white rectangle cheese. we have white shredded cheese. do you want that.

k: ok

(i get out two slices of bread and begin toasting it under the broiler. as i’m doing this i’m eating the other melted cheese on some crackers)

k: what are you eating?

me: the cheese you didn’t want on some crackers

k: i want cheese on crackers

me: (exasperated) fine

(slice more cheese and arrange on crackers. hand husband plate with cheese on toast)

k: i want them like s’mores

me: (feeling the will to live slowly draining from my body) fine

(put a second cracker on top of cheese on crackers)

me: here

k: i want it squeezed

me: you mean you want it heated?

k: i want it squeezed!

me: fine!

(i take crackers and cheese and put in microwave)

me: here!

k: i don’t want it melted!

me: you said you wanted it squeezed! how do you expect to be able to squeeze the cheese in the crackers if you don’t have it melted?!

k: i don’t want it melted! (starts crying)

me: well, you can either eat this or go without then, because i’m done trying to figure out what you want!

k: i want like this. (pointing to the cheese on toast that husband had taken a few bites of already)

h: do you want this?

k: yes

me: (head explodes)