here's my gripe…


Random questions and observations

1. Why is my son watching The Facts of Life? And why did I watch it when it was originally on? 😝

2. Why does my phone keep wanting to capitalize the word right before a question Mark?

3. Am I ever going to get my life back? My dad sometimes talks of living to 122. Rounding up, that’s 25 more years. 😖

4. My sisters better be preparing to take over for me whether they want to or not.

5. Poop. That’s all I’m going to say.

6. Who wants to come over and wash the dishes for me?

7. I go to the grocery store almost every day.

I guess that’s it for now…


Dear Mom

Happy birthday. I miss you.

I had thought that there would be so much more that I would want to say, but now I can’t find the words.

The past few months have been awful. I still wish it were all just a bad dream and I’d wake up and you’d still be here. I just can’t get my head around the fact that you’re gone.

I’m sorry I’m letting you down so spectacularly. I’m letting everybody down. I can’t seem to just do what I have to do and handle everything. I’m sorry. I know I’m doing everything wrong. If it were possible to just stay in room all day, every day, I would. 

Today is your birthday, and I haven’t talked to Dad about it at all. I think he might have been thinking about it last week, but it’s hard to tell. I don’t talk about you with him that much. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m worried it will upset him or because I’m worried that it will upset me. I don’t want him to see me lose it.

I love you, Mom. I’m sorry I failed you. 


True story!

So, the other day we’re all in the car going wherever it was we were going and my wldest, G, demands that we turn the radio off. We almost always have the radii on, and unless Mark is trying to annoy the rest of us with country music or talk radio, it’s usually on one of the local rock stations.

We deny his request, although Mark does turn the volume way down, and we ask him why he wants the radio off.

“Your music is boring.”

Fair enough. What teenager doesn’t think that about their parents’ music choices. I certainly didn’t enjoy listening to dixieland jazz when I was growing up.

A few minutes later, the Bee Gees “Stayin’ Alive” comes on and both boys shout from the back, “Turn it up!”


Life sucks when there’s no coffee

Last summer, otherwise known as “The Upheaval,” we bought a small espresso maker at the thrift store. It was such a find! Smaller than the behemoth we were using before, better layout, stronger steam. It was practically perfect. So, of course, I broke it this past week when I forgot to put the cap back on the water well. It boiled over and now it won’t brew coffee. At first the steam nozzle would still work, but now that is effed up, too.


It’s amazing how a little thing like that can ruin…everything. We pulled the behemoth out of the garage and this is day two of trying to clean it out. I don’t know what the hell has happened to it, but I can’t get the water to run clear and now I’m wondering how long we were drinking sediment coffee when we were using this machine everyday. *gag*

I guess if the worst thing going on in your life is not being able to make coffee, things are pretty good. But I still feel like crying right now.


A conversation

Me: Oh my God, I think I have the flu!

Body: Oh, heh, yeah, that’s just me, you know….

Me: No, seriously, I’m achy all over, chills, I feel like death.

Body: Nope, sorry, it’s just that time of the month.

Me: Are you freaking kidding me?! I’ve never, ever felt this bad before. I’m pretty sure this has to be the flu.

Body: I don’t know what to tell you.


Body: You are 43, you know.


Body: Geezer.

Me: Shut up, bitch.